Come Heal With Me

Remember the Sabbath to Keep it Holy

My notes from the book (God's Psychiatry): More words were written about this commandant than any other the others. Think about it. Four words and four words only were given to "Thou shalt not kill" but ninety-nine words were given to this commandment.

The first thing we are told is to "remember." It is scientifically impossible for man to forget anything. Every detail of every day of your life is stored somewhere in your brain. However, "forgetting" and "remembering" are two different things. We may not remember what we had to eat three months ago on a Thursday but our brains have stored that meal forever.

God is reminding us through this commandment that this is one thing we must not forget to remember.

To keep the Sabbath, the 7th Day, is to take a precious gift from God. It is our reward for six days of labor. A man named Moshe Wolf (quoted by Sholem Asch in his book East River) said, "When a man labors not for a livlihood, but to accumulate wealthy, then he is a slave."

The Sabbath teaches us that we are not work horses, meant only to work, eat, sleep...we are children of God, born into an inheritance.

The Sabbath was given to each man so that he could be recreated physically and spiritually. It has been proven time and again that we can do more in 6 days with one day of rest following them than we can do in 7 days without rest. But more than just physically rejuvenating, the 7th day spent in rest allows the spirit to catch up to the body.

An old miner once said, "I bring my mules out of the mines for a full day, every 7th day, to keep them from going blind."

"Be still and know that I am God," we read in Psalm 46:10.

Beauty doesn't shout. Loveliness is quiet. Our finest moods are not clamorous. The Divine is not obtrusive. He is reserved and courteous. We need a day to hear his voice.

Mother's Notes in the Margins: The first four commandments are between man and God. The following six are between man and man. This is the last commandment dealing with man and God.

What would our country be like if we really observed the Sabbath as we should?

Psalm 84:10: (Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.)

(Next to "we are in too big a hurry," Mother wrote:) Satan busy.

God doesn't push himself on us but waits patiently for us.

My Thoughts on Both: A few years ago, as my work and ministry seemed to explode around me, I took on the 7th Day of Work attitude. Yes, I went to church but then I came home, marched myself to the computer and started working. Occasionally I'd throw in watching an old movie on AMC or TCM...but mostly I worked. I told myself that I enjoyed it, therefore it wasn't really work.

Then, one day, my back began to hurt. And it wouldn't let up. The pain traveled to my right hip, locked itself in, and then moved on down my leg. The pain was excruciating. I went to doctors. I took pills. I had shots. Nothing gave relief and no doctor seemed to have the answer.

I was forced to stop working because I couldn't sit at my computer very long. For someone who averaged about ten hours a day of work, I was lucky to get three. Ice packs and heating pads and narcotics had become my best friends.

I sat at the dining room table one evening, opened my Bible, and laid my head on it and cried. When I was finished weeping, I looked at the words spread before me:

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."

The admonition found in Isaiah 30:15 wrapped itself around me like the sting of a father's belt. My salvation...my strength...was found not in working, but in repentance, rest, and quiet.

I knew the truth of this. I had taught it, for crying out loud. Many is the time I stood before a class or an auditorium filled with people and said, "Psalm 46:10 says, 'Be still and know that I am God.' The word still in Hebrew is raphah. It means to cease. Be still. Stop. Sink down and relax. Abide..."

Oh for the joy of just being with God! A whole day not worrying about working, but enjoying his gift of time. Of family. Of friends. Of the simple joys like watching the children play. Or taking a long walk. Or picnic-ing with loved ones. Watching that old movie.

And, of course, worship.

One thing I have noted. God said for us to "remember the 7th day" so that we "keep it holy." I believe we have confused what He commanded here. He did not tell us that nothing apart from God, worship, prayer, etc. should be enjoyed. He did not say, "If you lie on the couch and watch an old movie...or take your child to a matinee...or sit out by the lake and watch the ducks swim...you have broken my law." No...he said "remember"...

I do not worship God but one day a week. That is every day. He is with me constantly, praise Him! Even when I am at my worst, He stands by and says, "Get your hissy fit over with and then let's move on." And I praise Him for that!

Remember to rest. Remember to enjoy this precious gift God has given you. One day a week. One whole day. How marvelous is that?

Photos copyright Eva Marie Everson

Come Heal With Me

Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord They God in Vain

Notes from the Book, God's Psychiatry:

What a person thinks about determines what he is.

The secret desires of our hearts eventually show up in our very appearance.

A man is what he thinks about all day long.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our life is what our thoughts make of it.

Marcus Aurelius

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Proverbs 23:7

Mother's Note in the Margins: Where are you Adam?

My notes: As I read the chapter titled "Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of the Lord in Vain," I grew confused. I flipped back and forth from the text to the title, back to the text. What, I wondered, did my thinking patterns have to do with taking God's name in vain?

Growing up, I'd always heard that saying "Godda**" was the ultimate sin. "God cannot damn," some teacher once told me. But the more I thought about it, the more it didn't make total sense to me. At the end of the book, it seems to me, God pronounces judgment, bringing some into glory with Him and condemning others to a life of "weeping and gnashing of teeth."

When I was a little girl, I dreamed that God could be seen high and lifted up, high above the whole world. There, standing in the front yard of my childhood home, I stood, looking up...looking at God. And, the whole world stood there with me (how we all got on that property, I'll never know.)

God was ready to pronounce judgment on the whole earth, on all mankind. He said, "I will separate the earth. Those on the right will come to heaven with me. Those on the left will go to hell with the devil."

The earth began to split, from just under the Almighty all the way down...toward me. I watched as some fell to the right, others to the left, and some fell into the great crevice. Just as the line approached me, I tried to judge it. To mark the timing. As it reached my feet, I reckoned, I would leap to the right.

But instead, I fell to the left.

I was going to hell??? This could not be right.

I looked up at God. "Can we have a do-over?" I asked.

And God granted it. Again, I positioned myself, ready for the great crack to come toward me, ready to jump to the right.

And again, I fell to the left. I looked up in horror. As I did, God said to me, "Eva Marie, this is just a dream. Mankind has been given chances time and again. But one day, the chances will run out."

Then I awoke.

I spent the rest of my childhood trying never to say a bad word (I was reared by parents who never cussed) and certainly not to commit the "unpardonable sin" as I knew it to be. But now I understand something even more: when we hold something in high esteem, we do not "take its name in vain." We honor it, both with our thoughts, our words, and by our relationship with it.

I. Love. God. Period.

I adore Him. Cherish Him. Worship Him. But do I ever take his name in vain?

Yes. Every time I get angry and say anything that would disgrace Him or my relationship with Him. Every time I don't take our relationship seriously and our time together seriously.

Mother wrote, "Where are you Adam?" God knew exactly where Adam and Eve were hiding. What He was asking was, "Where are you and I in this relationship, Adam?"

When we grieve, as I have grieved this past year--both for Mother and the other things I have lost (as this has been a year of loss)--I have both run to God and run from Him. Angry. Bitter. How could you? How could you have taken her...or her...or her...or it from me? Haven't I been a good daughter? Haven't I tried to live on the 'right' side of the crevice?

I took my eyes off the One I love and put them on my circumstances.

Don't get me wrong. It's okay to cry (even Jesus cried at the death of Lazarus). To be angry. To question WHY??? But in doing so, we should...we must...keep our eyes on Him. Become more like Him.

To live on the right side of the crevice.

Come Heal With Me; Week 14

Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee any Graven Image

Notes from the book, God's Psychiatry, by Charles L. Allen: It is much easier to whittle God down to our size instead of repenting, changing our way of living, and being godly ourselves. When Horace Bushnell was a college student he felt he was an atheist. One day a voice seemed to say to him, "If you do not believe in God, what do you believe?"

He answered back, "I believe there is a difference between right and wrong."

"Are you living up to the highest you believe?" the voice seemed to ask.

"No," he said, "but I will."

That day he dedicated his life to his highest belief. Years later, after he had been pastor of one church 47 years, he said, "Better than I know any person in my church, I know Jesus Christ." when he began conforming his life to his beliefs, instead of making his beliefs fit his life, he was led to a realization of God.

Mother's Notes Found in the Margins: He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him. Nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.

My Notes: God created man in His image, yet we are told not to create any image of God for the purpose of worship. So, we seek to find something within creation to connect with our Creator. We sit on the ocean's edge and marvel at it's power. We look out over a range of mountains and can barely speak. We gape in wonder at a forest of Sequoias. Why? Perhaps because in our effort to find God--to worship Him--we attempt to create Him in our image of what we think God is like.

We try to make God into what we want Him to be; not who He is. We know God wants us to live according to His goodness. Yet, when we want to sin, we create in our mind a God who is okay with that. We create a God who gives--health, wealth, prosperity--but we do not want a God who requires of us--thithes, offerings, acts of service.

We worship God by "picturing God" according to our own ideas and fabrications. but what if those notions aren't accurate? What if they aren't even close?

Philip said to Jesus, "Lord show us the Father."

Jesus replied, "He who has seen me, has seen the Father."

Those who walked with Jesus and went on to write about it failed to tell us anything about Jesus' physical appearance (almost as though they were commanded thusly). But they told us plenty about who He was.

How wonderful it must have been to look into the eyes of Jesus and know you are looking into the eyes of God! But we don't have that opportunity. We have no image, graven or otherwise.

Or do we?

It is us, you know...We are created in His image. When we look into our own eyes or the eyes of one another, we should catch a glimpse of His. We are to imitate Him, so much so, we become His reflection.

Lately I have found it difficult to worship because life has sucked everything out of me, leaving nothing but a shell and vacant eyes. My prayers of praise are spoken through tears and anguish. My example of Christianity has been anything but. When others look into my eyes, they hardly see God. They see hurt, betrayal, anger, anguish, confusion, brokenness. I fight to hold it all together for the sake of the call and if that is not apparent, then no one is really looking.

But maybe, what God really wants me to do is to stop pretending and start coming to Him from such a raw place, I am emptied of all of me and replaced with only Him.

John gave us the most incredible promise in the 22nd chapter of Revelation. He reminds all that those who are faithful "shall see His face" (vs 4).

No longer will we have to look to the mountains, the seas, the trees, or each other. One day, when there is nothing between us and God but the praise and worship, we shall see the glory of God by His own image.

Notes from the book: One thing more. After Thorwaldsen had completed his famous statue of Christ, he brought a friend to see it. Christ's arms were outstretched, His head bowed between them. The friend said, "But I cannot see His face."

The sculptor replied, "If you would see the face of Christ, you must get on your knees."

He is the perfect image of God; let us have no other.

Come Heal With Me; Week 13

The Ten Commandments

Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Notes made after reading the Book: before man can live rightly with each other, he must first get right with God. The 1st commandment is not "Thou shall believe in a god." We were created with the instinct to believe--to reach for something higher than ourselves. When we come into the world, it is with a natural desire to eat and drink. However, we must be taught to eat and drink the right things. God, as the creator of man, knows that man will reach for something, anything to worship. The moon, the sun, the stars. But God created all these, too. God's 1st rule is that none of the things He created for us to enjoy become something we bow to.

God also placed other desires within us: to gain knowledge, wealth, fame, pleasure, power. In and of themselves, they are not wrong. But when we put these things--or the acquiring of them--before our desire to know God, we have broken the very first commandment of God.

Mother's Jotted Notes in the Margins:

Not in God's Word

Starve

Traveler's Checks

What about me

Look nice

She also underlined a lot of the text, but she underlined twice: "One of our greatest temptations is to put pleasure before God."

I write: I have no idea what most of Mother's notes mean, but I do know what her first note in the margins means.

No where does the Bible attempt

to prove there is a God.

I have never doubted God's existence. Mother made certain I knew of Him from birth. But knowing Him has been up to me. My desire for Him must rise above all other desires.

Do I want to be smart? Of course. I am interested in a variety of things, some I wish to have more than a passing fancy over. Just this past weekend, while in Cedar Key watching the birds, I found myself wishing I knew more about the varieties of these fine feathered friends. Nothing wrong with that, unless I put the knowing about God's creation over the knowing the Creator.

Would I like to be rich? Perhaps not necessarily of the Bill Gates category, what with all it's responsibilities. But to be comfortable in my old age? Sure. To be able to help my children or grandchildren should they need my assistance? Of course. To be able to give to the children's charity I am affiliated with? Naturally! Furthering God's work is of paramount importance to me. Certainly nothing wrong with that. But if I put the gain of money ahead of the mission it may accomplish, then I am walking down a dangerous path.

What about fame? Is it wrong to want my books to do well? To be known for the hard labor of my hands? Certainly, I don't believe there is anything wrong with that at all. But what it I put my work, every day, before seeking God? What if I ignore the rest of the 7th day in order to get a little more done, go a little further, work a little harder? This would be wrong.

And pleasure? Sometimes I think, "I need to pray..." or "read God's Word..." and then I think, "Oh...this show is coming on..." or "I'm tired and I want to take a nap now..." A few weeks ago, our daughter, her husband and their children came to Orlando to visit the House of the Mouse. This is fun. This is pleasure. But they also came by and spent time with her father...her Daddy. And so I think of the times I spend sitting out on the dock over the lake behind our house. I look out on this magnificent vista...and this is pleasure...but while I am there, I am deep in conversation with the Creator. Sometimes I take my journal and write letters to Him. I love hiking in the cool of the forest or along the crags of mountains. Sitting beneath waterfalls, listening as it pulsates into a pool below. These are times when God's creation and my pleasure go hand in hand. I think of what Eric Liddell said: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure...

But what about power... oh to have it at times! To be able to speak one word and my will be done! To have the ability to right the wrongs! My thoughts wander down two paths: the power of evil and the evil of power vs. the power of prayer. Why do I spend so much time barking at the moon? Why not cry out to the One who has all power and waits for me to speak but one word? Abba...

I cannot think of a single thing that came before Mother's relationship with God. I cannot, in all honesty, say this about myself.

In this year since Mother died, I have been consumed with and by many things. Some are of my own making; others have been pressed upon me. To make heads or tails of this, I must list them--I think--so that I can identify them. And after this, I can--hopefully, prayerfully--see why they have gained a place--any place--above God.

(By clicking on "and when I run, I feel his pleasure, you will have the pleasure of seeing these powerful few moments from Chariots of Fire, 1981)

Come Heal With Me; Week 12

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever...

This is week 12. In the book, it is headed "12."

Mother circled the number (it is one of the biblical numbers of completion) and wrote beside the word forever, "eternity."

From the Book: The author, Charles Allen, who hails from Atlanta, speaks of 5:00 traffic in the Georgia capitol city. He describes it as thrilling. The streets are filled with people, cars, buses... people are standing, running... and people are going home.

Be it ever so humble, he quotes John Howard Payne, there's no place like home.

But what about those who have nowhere to go? What about the homeless who inhabit the streets after dark, when the streets are devoid of all those who have left their work for the sanctity of home?

Mother Wrote: love, warmth, people

From the Book: David did not suggest that he might dwell in the house of the Lord forever but that he would. "I will," he penned.

David had never heard Jesus of Nazareth say, "I am the resurrection and the life" but David knew God.

My Notes: Da'at Elohim ... The knowledge of God.

Mother Wrote: I wonder, how intimately do we know God?

My Notes: As May nears, and with it Mother's Day and the anniversary of Mother's "going home" I am more aware than ever this concept of this not being our home. I imagine David writing or being inspired by "his 23rd psalm" in the lush fields where a shepherd boy may have led his sheep. For fodder. For water. For rest. Having been to Israel, I can picture the rolling hillsides, the deep blue of the skies, the bridal veil clouds. I know what it looks like to see the Golan Heights blush in the late afternoon sunlight. The land where David grew up, the land in which he ruled as king, was and is a magnificent sight.

But not so great as to keep him from desiring "home."

This earth is our place of rest. But 5:00 comes. For some of us, sooner than for the rest. But it comes. It's like that country hit, "It's 5:00 Somewhere."

Of course, I know that's about having a drink ... but it's also about coming to the end of the stresses, the labor, the dealings with people and problems all day long. It's about finding respite at the end of it all.

Mother has made it to 5:00.

When I was a girl growing up in her home, Mother liked to have a cup of coffee late in the afternoon. I suppose this was a lot like having a "spot of tea" were she in England. At times, friends came by and shared it with her. I used to watch them sipping from their cups, listen to them chatting. And I would think, "When I get to be a big girl, I can do this, too..."

When I was older, sure enough, it was my pleasure to share a cup of afternoon coffee with Mother.

Mother is having her 5:00 coffee with Jesus now. And my father...and her mother...and so many others who made it to 5:00 before her.

I'll be there one day. Right now, I'm still at work.

Come Heal with Me; Week 11

(Blogger's Note: I apologize that it has been a few weeks since my last post... bear with me as I walk through my own Vally of the Shadow...)

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..."

Notes from the book: Mary Martin (in South Pacific) sang, "I'm stuck like a dope, with a thing called hope, I can't get it out of my heart..."

David said the same with his word "surely..." when thinking about God's goodness and mercy.

Mother's Notes: Love and Grace

My Notes: I decided to look up the word "surely." David, in his native Hebrew, would have written 'ak.

An emphatic "indeed."

"Certainly."

"Without a doubt."

Notes from the book: Even with all the disasters of the world, when we walk with God long enough--as David did--we come to trust that God will get us through the darkest valleys.

Mother's Notes: See Psalm 37 for "young now old"

My Notes: Psalm 37:25 reads: I have been young and now I am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread.

Notes from the Book: Professor Endicott Peabody (1857-1944), headmaster of Groton School for Boys (Groton, Mass) and the Episcopal priest who founded the school said in chapel, "Remember things in life will not always run smoothly...the great fact to remember is that the trend of civilization is forever upward." One of his students went on to proclaim to a hopeless nation, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." (Franklin D. Roosevelt)

Stop thinking disaster into your life. Instead, say with the Psalmist, "This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24).

Mother's Notes: START

My Notes: Mother wrote "start" as a personal note where to begin her teaching of this small section of the book. But I thought it ironic that she wrote START right where Charles Allen (the author) wrote "QUIT."

I think this is all about perspective, then. Whatever is going on in your life...how do you look at it? Losing Mother, for me, was about extreme pain and loss. For her, it was about reaching Heaven's Gates, seeing her Savior, dancing on streets of gold. Seeing, for the first time in many, many years her own mother. Joy untold.

Untold joy.

So many disasters are upon us today. Even within the last two weeks... earthquakes, tsunamis, flooding, dictators rising against people, people rising against government, war added to war added to war...

The earth quakes at the presence of God, I believe. Perhaps, then, what we see as disaster is God's move on his creation. It cannot help but shake when he comes near. I don't know... don't quote me on that. We all try to make sense of what we have seen.

Mothers fear their sons and daughters heading into another land in uprising. But the people who wait for foreign soldiers--wait in fear of their own government--beg us to hurry.

Perspective.

No matter what...surely...

Surely God's love and grace--his goodness and his mercy--will follow me...

I remember a teacher from high school, Jenny Jackson-Adams, who had two cats she named Goodness and Mercy. "They follow me everywhere," she told me.

She could see these little furry reminders of God's love as they scampered behind her. And so she named them...Goodness. And Mercy.

If I look behind me, what will I see? Will I see that God has always remained faithful (I've never seen the righteous forsaken...)? Will I see his hand directing my feet upon the path he laid for me? Of course I will.

Goodness and Mercy follow me... all the days of my life.

Come Heal with Me. Week 10

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over...

Mother Wrote: Kaddesh

God, our holiness

God, our satisfaction

Toward the end of this section, which talks about how life can hurt and cut and bruise, Mother wrote "Start" where it says:

David says, "Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup... He didn't say "our heads" or "our cups."

It is the singular, personal pronoun.

All day long the shepherd is concerned with the flock. But as they go into the fold, he takes them one by one...

...He stand at the door of the fold and checks them one by one.

Mother Wrote: God has the power of the universe and the power to take care of me.

Mother Underlined Portions of: Remember how, as little children, we would bruise a finger or stub a toe. We would come running to Mama, who would kiss the hurt away. There was a mystic healing in her loving concern.

...a heart can be broken.

I Write: ...and so it can.

It's 9:35 p.m. This day has held more tears than I can imagine any day should. I took a shower not too long ago and cried more tears than I knew I had water within me. Certainly more than the spray splashing against my body and falling, along with my sorrow, to the tile beneath my feet.

Oh, my precious Jesus.

Do you see me at the gate?

Is there healing for my wounds?

Water for my thirst?

Rest for the tired and the weary?

If only life were about one day, one hurt.

If only we went out into the brutal world one time and return to the fold but once. Instead, we go out long day after long day. The path is familiar and yet still it's rocky. It rambles. It twists and turns.

If only...

Perhaps, I think, life hurts the most when we allow anything other than God to jockey for position of "satisfier."

Father, I am at the end of the day. I am tired. Broken. Bruised.

I am standing at the gate of the fold.

Do you see me?